Wednesday, February 14, 2018

a letter to my boys

two of my favorite humans stand less than 3 feet tall and know exactly how to push all of my buttons and put me on the brink of a mental break down before melting my heart with an open mouthed kiss or the sweetest ‘mama, i wuv you’ you’ve ever heard.  they’re my boys.  this valentine’s day i wanted to write them a letter.  here it is; a letter to my boys.

to my boys (now and in the future),

when i found out we were having not one but two boys my heart nearly exploded!  being a boy mom is a badge i wear proudly.  it’s a calling.  it’s an experience.  this is for you; a letter to my boys.

my heart may never know what it means to mother a girl.  to buy tiny hair bows or frilly dresses.  to have a forever companion for the occasional chick flick or pedicure but it will know love and fierce loyalty like that which you can only get from a son.

my heart swells every time i think about the responsibility that comes with raising a son.  it’s both tremendous and terrifying.  being a boy mom means creating men of the future.  men with integrity and heart.  it means allowing for failure and then emotion.  it means modeling strong and healthy relationships.  it means encouraging your heart, nurturing your intellect and embracing the jump, throw and wrestle which will make you strong.  it means trying new things and stepping out of my own comfort zone as i try to relate and stay relevant in your lives.  it means being a positive role model and a good person.

above all it means showing you love in a way that can be taken for granted because it will be something you should always know and be able to give unconditionally in return.

being a boy mama isn’t for the faint of heart.  there are days.  goodness, are there days.  even you know the ones.  and there will be so many more.  days of worry and angst and of sheer frustration.  days where i’ll worry sick until i know you are safe and right where you need to be.  days that i’ll hate all the loud noise but know in the back of my mind that it’s only for a short time.  the days, the years, the moment – it’s all short.  days when the never-ending hot laps around the house and banging may seem annoying but in reality it’s music to my ears. being a boy mama isn’t for the faint of heart.  i just hope that i’ll learn to let go or lessen my fear in the unknown and trust in HIS greater plan with more confidence.  for your sake and my sanity.  someday.

when i look at you.  i see all my happiness.  i see boys that will make their mama proud beyond measure.  boys that already have.  when i look at you i know it’s going to be dump trucks and dinosaurs instead of makeup and dolls.  when i look at you i see sassy mini mes, more in demeanor and attitude than in looks.  when i look at you i see your daddy.  and that makes me oh so happy.

some day you’ll grow up and move on.  you’ll move out and i’ll have to find a new purpose.  a new way to be your mommy and a new way to be in your life.  but I’ll always be there.  you will know that through action, thought and words.  you will know. without a doubt.  you will know.

until then i want to teach you so many things.  i want to teach you about women and flowers and how to be gentle.  i want to teach you resiliency and model it just the same.  i want to teach you how to cook and do laundry and leave all the ‘manly stuff’ up to dad.  i want you to compete but not to compare.  i want you to see people for who they are on the inside. i want to teach you how to build others up but showing you the same in return.  i want to encourage your heart all the ‘you did it’s and the ‘you’re so strong’s.  i’ll be your biggest fan.  for all of time.  for all the things.  oh my, i have my work cut out for me.

until then i plan to hold you for as long as you’ll let me.  you are my babies and forever will be.  the world won’t see you the way i do and that’s ok.  you’ll forever mean more to me than you know.  until you have your own babies.  until then.

when i look you i see your curiosity and zest for life.  both for it’s little things and also the big.  i hope you never lose that quality.  i love all the bits and pieces of you, my boys.  my boys now and any in the future.  i’ll love it all.

i love you.

i love you.  to moon and back.  i love you.

love,

mom

Comments

  1. Our children should be our great joy and sometimes our great sorrow at times. They are adorable. Enjoy every moment.

  2. Love the whole letter. I have never written one to my kids. Must do. And by the way, your photos are outstanding

  3. I love your connection to your sons. THEY WILL BECOME AWESOME YOUNG MEN BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE AND DEVOTION TO THEM.

    LOVE YOUR DRESS!

  4. Great personal letter to your sons. Children are a joy in life

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