Thursday, June 8, 2017

sobotkas: party of four

plus little allie.

it’s still soaking in that i am a mom of two.  TWO babies!  TWO boys!  for someone who once thought they could live a full life without kids i can’t believe how incredibly blessed it is to be a mom to carson and tatum.  sure i’m exhausted and on a hormonal high but someone pinch me – isthisreallife?!

although my pregnancy with tatum was an adventure full of ups and downs his birth was totally uneventful.  labor may have outlasted carson’s by nearly 9 hours but it couldn’t have gone any smoother.  tatum’s birth story starts on thursday, may 25th.

 determined to ‘walk him out’ my girlfriend, jade and i walked a quick {for a 9 months preggo lady} two miles Thursday night after the kids were down.  we talked all about our pregnancies and how confusing labor is – among other things before making it back.  i was nearly out of breath.  following our walk that night i felt the most intense contractions that i’d felt the entire pregnancy.  so painful in fact that they woke me from a dead sleep then…..nothing.

friday followed in suit with more braxton hicks contractions and a boring day at work.  with all of my projects cleaned up and no new cases to work on the day before a long holiday weekend i longed for 4 o’clock and wished for the baby to come.  i literally hugged my co-workers goodbye and busted out of that place at 4 on the dot, eager to get my little guy and go for a walk.  it was WINDY but i pulled the wagon a good 1.5 miles anyway – carson + juice in tow.  not long after we got home i could feel tatum move down and had more contractions. this time they were consistent about every 15 minutes. i knew i must be close.  i called my mom to see if she had plans for the next couple of nights since our backups were all out of town.  within the hour she was packed and on her way.  and then….nothing.  four hours of constant contractions and nothing.  i couldn’t believe how anxious i was to go into labor.

saturday.  that was a big day!  with mom here we invited her along on our family date to breakfast at my favorite cafe and to miracle park.  we had decided to make plans for the weekend knowing that the baby may not come.  i was getting restless.  cody and i made a quick trip south to pick up our boat (3 hours round trip!) and left mom with carson.  after a morning of good eats and good play he napped like a champ.  during that trip i was SO uncomfortable.  sitting was getting painful and the contractions were still coming.   after dinner we decided to go for a sunset walk on the high trestle trail.  and that was it.

i share all of this because labor is so incredibly confusing and i was tired of the ‘you’ll just know’ chatter.  my first labor experience was not at all ‘normal’ and i didn’t expect this one to be either.  neither time did my water break, neither time did the contractions feel so painful i was screaming, neither time was there a clear sign.

after getting back from our evening walk and after getting carson to sleep i sat down and starting timing the contractions that i was feeling.  at 7 minutes apart for a good hour i decided to have cody load up the jeep.  i was convinced that we were going to have a baby in no time.   we arrived at labor and delivery just before 10 pm.  once on the monitor it was clear i was contracting every 3-4 minutes and they were becoming more intense.  still i didn’t find the contractions so painful to scream or clutch the sheets or cody.  i just felt uncomfortable.  i was checked periodically until nearly 12 am and was still only dilated to a 4.

monitors reported 1-2 minute contractions yet the nurse indicated that without any additional dilation they would send me home.  what?!  how would i ever know to come back if that was the case?!  we walked.  we walked until almost 1 am and i was checked again.  nearly a 5 – not quite a 5 but enough to get admitted.  hallelujah!  again my contractions were consistent and intense but not terrible.  i opted for an epidural anyway.  of tatum’s entire birth story getting this drug was by far the scariest.  my entire body numbed and my blood pressure plummeted to 44/74.  SCARY!  i honestly thought – ‘well, i didn’t get a power of attorney’ and ‘cody’s got this’ and then i mentioned it to the nurse.

with the anesthesia in place i waited anxiously for my body to do it’s thing.  then nothing.  well not exactly nothing but more spaced contractions and still no water break.

i laid awake while cody slept on the couch in our room, the same room i delivered carson in, and his mom in the lounge.  at 5 am doctor DeJong broke my water and i slept…for a whopping 45 minutes.  i knew that i’d be meeting my newest little love and i couldn’t handle it.  around 6:40 my mother in law came into our room for an update and cody woke.  at 6:45 i was checked and told that ‘we’re having a baby.’  the moment i was waiting for!

carson’s birth left me believing that i’d be c-section bound this go-round if the baby was in distress and i couldn’t push.  i was convinced that would be our story and i was as prepared mentally as i could be.

totally NOT the case.  at 7 am on the dot i started pushing.  at 7:02 am tatum matthew was born.  i couldn’t believe it.

daddy watched over him close, just as he had in the past.  tears filled my eyes but never fell upon my cheeks.  i was just so happy and in awe.  i knew this time would be different.  i know the joy that a child brings and in that moment, at 7:02 am, my heart swelled.  he was perfection.  and yet again i found myself loving my husband even more.  he has embraced the role of ‘daddy’ with such ease and tender care for our little, little men.

at 6 lbs. and 12 oz. tatum came into this world a full two pounds heavier than his older brother but, we couldn’t get over how tiny he was/is.  it’s amazing what you forget and then remember between each baby.  with blond hair and blue eyes (that i personally hope stay) tatum looks most like his older brother.  BUT, there are definite glimpses of uncle joe and uncle matt.  at 19 inches long tatum has the longest feet and most perfect toes.  he has long fingers and his daddy’s thick thumb – a trait both of my boys carry.

our few days in the hospital were busy with visitors and nurse checks.  i snuggled our babe and looked forward to carson’s visits with such excitement.  i longed to be home with my babies but knew how critical rest would be for my own recovery.  daddy was patient and kind and i couldn’t have done it without him.  i was exhausted and in more pain this time.  my body has been slower to rebound but my milk is in and baby is growing.  God is good.

tatum matthew and our status as a family of four is our newest adventure.  i’m not convinced these next couple of years will be free of challenge, prayer and tears but i couldn’t feel any more blessed.  i have the best partner and family.  i have two beautiful boys and full heart.  i nearly burst into tears each time carson loves on his baby.  i’m obliviously tired and deliriously in love – with them, with cody, with life.  i’ve never felt as content as i do now.  i’m a mommy for the second time. God is good.

“blessed are the pure of heart for they shall see God.”  matthew 5:8

photo cred: libby sharp photography

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